UNFINISHED YARN SYMPHONY

I first heard the term "Schubert's Unfinished Symphony" when I was barely larger than two skeins of super bulky yarn.  My family was about to attend a concert at the old Grant Park Band Shell downtown, across the street from the Field Museum, and this monumental piece of music was on the program.  With the wonderful illogic of a child's mind, I concluded that the symphony had earned its name because it had a very abrupt ending due to the sudden death of Mr. Schubert.  I anticipated that the piece would end right in the middle of a melody and that the conductor and the orchestral musicians would walk somberly off the stage as we, the audience, were left with a sense of unfulfilled longing, wanting nothing more than a satisfying conclusion to the piece we had just heard.  I remember being enraptured by the music, eagerly awaiting the moment when the empty chaos of silence would take over the stage.  While waiting for that moment, I fantasized about what had actually happened to Schubert.  Who or what had stopped him from finishing what, in my mind, was obviously his last composition.  Had his quill written its last note because his house blew up?  Was he poisoned by Beethoven (at the time, the only other classical composer whose name I was familiar with)?  Had he run out of ink and when going out to buy some more, had he been run over by a team of oxen?  I was on the edge of the picnic blanket, an uneaten chicken leg in my hand as I anxiously awaited the dramatic drop of the conductor's baton.  And then  ...  What the heck? ...  The piece ended not in mid phrase but with a very obvious conclusion.  After a dark and foreboding opening, it finished a half hour later with a peaceful and uplifting E major chord.  It was many years later when I finally learned that this magnificent orchestral work was described as unfinished only because Schubert had completed just two of the expected four movements of the symphony.  I also eventually discovered that Beethoven could not have poisoned Schubert as his own death preceded Schubert's by a little over a year.


And now we have our own unfinished opus, our own Unfinished Yarn Symphony.  It is a work that will hopefully be completed by many composers.  A few days ago, Montoya Fiber Studio held a yarn bombing.  Now don't go calling Homeland Security on us.  For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a yarn bombing is nothing more than an explosion of yarn meant to decorate a specific outdoor area in an artistic manner.  A few friendly customers showed up and helped Cathy decorate the tree and the parking meters directly in front of the store on Prairie Avenue.  Also, a number of the meters on the main drag of Central Street are now smiling as they proudly display a colorful yarn adornment around their previously boring necks.  But we are not finished.  There are still a large number of unadorned meters jealous of the decorated ones and hoping that someone will have the courtesy to decorate their bland nakedness with wild and colorful yarn.  So for those of you who feel suddenly inspired and who would like to participate in this ongoing project, here is your chance.  All you have to do is pick out some colorful remnant yarn that is screaming to be freed from your stash and knit up a rectangle 7.5 inches wide and 12 inches long.  When it's done, bring it in to the store and Cathy will provide the necessary finishing material to add it to our collection of fashionably festooned parking meters.  I myself plan to make two.  One in purple and white to honor that big University down the street and another one in some eye-opening splash of color that has yet to be conceived.  I'll have to see what I have in my own stash.


Curiously, a number of bedazzled onlookers asked Cathy and her yarn bombing cohorts what the purpose of the whole thing was.  What hidden metaphorical meaning was there in this vibrant display of street color?  I was minding the store at the time but I wish I could have been there to instantly invent a deep philosophical reasoning for this artistic demonstration.  But really, yarn bombing does not have to have any particular significance.  Anyone can give it a meaning if they so wish, but that is a personal thing.  I myself prefer to think that, sometimes, fun art is just fun art.
























  

EINSTEIN AND THE RELATIVITY OF YARN

Some customers at Montoya Fiber Studio have been openly wondering about my blog.  Does Fred have writer's block?  Is his computer not working?  Has the blog been shut down by Homeland Security?  These are all questions that have been posed to my wife, Cathy, owner of Montoya Fiber Studio.  Her response?  "Don't know.  You'll have to ask him."  Here then is my official response to these queries.  No, I do not have writer's block.  Only professional writers are allowed to suffer through that indignity.  My computer works fine though I myself still struggle in mastering all its wizardry.  And finally, Homeland Security has informed me that my blog, though offensive to some key people in the Government, will be allowed to continue on its merry way.  What's been causing the delay (around six months) is this:  I have been working on a secret project that will revolutionize the world of yarn.


Like most non-scientists, I have a very slim understanding of the work of Albert Einstein.  Yes, I know that E = mc squared stands for Energy equals Mass times the Speed of Light squared and I know that this formula changed forever the world of science, leading to uses of atomic energy both wonderful and devastating.  I also know that his General Theory of Relativity takes the study of  gravity to a very advanced level and allows for some weird fourth dimension called spacetime.  But do I comprehend the how or the why of Einstein's work?  Of course not.  I'm having enough trouble grasping the concepts of Fair Isle knitting.  But it is Einstein's other work that has been taking up my free time these last six months.  I speak of the groundbreaking work that Einstein did for the SSK, the Society for Sophisticated Knitting.


Apparently, Einstein was a closet knitter and worked feverishly on improving the technique of knitting so that more people would enjoy and benefit from this great craft.  His work on the Raglan sweater is revolutionary.  But his Raglan sweater formulas are only a small percentage of the knitting ideas that he conceptualized.  Scribbled notes exist of mathematical knitting formulas that remain unexplained.  They are kept under lock and key in the SSK vaults in Switzerland.  Due to the deep respect that the Swiss people have for my knitting blog, the SSK was gracious enough to allow me a peek at these undeveloped ideas of Einstein.  One particular formula grabbed my attention.  K1(P2) > YO squared.  Any knitter might theorize that this formula stands for Knit one times Purl two is greater than Yarn Over squared.    Of course, from a knitting perspective, this makes no sense whatsoever.  After several weeks of drinking nothing but cheap Swiss wine, I theorized that what Einstein was trying to create was the perfect synthetic yarn.  A giant mental leap led me to the Periodic Table where I discovered that K, P, Y and O are symbols for chemical elements.  That would be K for Potassium, P for Phosphorus, Y for Yttrium and O for Oxygen.  The numbers refer to isotopes.  Through means both legal and illegal I was able to come up with these elements in their pure forms.  (Let me tell you something.  That Yttrium is not easy to find.)  Four months of experimentation in my home lab has me on the verge of perfecting this most scintillating of synthetic yarns.  The main problem is that it only comes out in Super, Super, Super Bulky yarn, knittable only with size 35 needles.  Also, it can only exist in the color yellow and it does not accept traditional dyes.  Once I manage to iron out these minor kinks, this beautiful yarn will be available for purchase exclusively at Montoya Fiber Studio.  We will also be selling lead lined knitting gloves as knitting with this yarn for more than two continuous hours will make your hands glow.


Speaking of Raglan sweaters, notice the fine detailed work on the one my Einstein doll is wearing in the window of Montoya Fiber Studio.  The pattern for this miniaturized sweater is available for free for anyone able to successfully explain to me what the heck spacetime is or for anyone who buys 35 balls of yarn at one time.