There are those who say that Nature played a mean practical joke on the fiercest creature that ever inhabited this planet. I speak of none other than that superstar of all dinosaurs, Tyrannosaurus Rex. Besides his imposing size, T. Rex was given powerful jaws, ferociously large teeth and muscular thighs that are equaled only by the upper echelon of Olympic gymnasts. But look at his poor arms. Like an afterthought, those puny little appendages dangle helplessly from T. Rex’s terrifying torso. He couldn’t even scratch the top of his head with those useless things. But wait. What some see as a terrible joke perpetrated on the scariest of dinosaurs might have been a blessing in disguise. How so? Well, it is obvious to me that Tyrannosaurus Rex was given the best arms ever for the wonderful art of knitting.
Consider the arms of a human. Really, they’re way too long for knitting. It is because of this length that there are knitters that suffer ailments in the shoulders, and in the fingers, and in all parts in between. Tendinitis, Arthritis, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, these are only some of the maladies that one can acquire or aggravate from excessive knitting. I myself have to be careful when I knit. Anything more than seven consecutive hours and my left shoulder will bother me for days. I still can’t figure out why this happens. But look at a picture of T. Rex. Those arms might be useless for many things. The Heimlich Maneuver, for instance. But they are just perfect for knitting. Talk about economy of motion. Talk about unmatched fluidity. The arms would barely move at all. T. Rex would have flown through any knitting project. What beautiful booties he could have knit for himself. What stunning 50 foot scarves he would have made for his buddy, Brontosaurus. What beautiful berets he would have knit for the itsy bitsy head of a Stegosaurus. What elegant horn warmers he would have created for Triceratops. The list of knitting possibilities is as long as the wing span of a Pterodactyl.
So no, Nature did not make a mistake in assigning those little arms to Tyrannosus Rex. Nature’s mistake was giving T.Rex a brain the size of a thimble. With such a sorry excuse for a brain, there is just no way that this otherwise magnificent creature could ever have mastered Fair Isle Knitting.
Those of you who’ve read my blog from a couple of months ago titled “The Alpacas”, know that I proclaimed myself the official Window Dresser of Montoya Fiber Studio. I don’t know if my article did the trick, but all those stuffed alpacas were sold soon after that particular blog appeared. Alas, the next shipment of alpacas does not arrive till late October. So what to do with the windows? Well, right now, one of the two window sections has Bert and Ernie, from Sesame Street, proudly exhibiting their love of knitting. The other window section is being used to visually prove my point that Tyrannosaurus Rex was meant to be a knitter. Next time you are at the store, feel free to check out this fierce reptilian display of yarn manipulation.